Original: Tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai
Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ? Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!
пятница, 27 февраля 2009 г.
Sexy elephant figure
Original: Sexy elephant figure
In an elephant's school, some loafer elephants were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female elephant passes by the canteen. Then one of the elephants says: "Look yaar, 3600 - 2400 - 3600!!"
In an elephant's school, some loafer elephants were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female elephant passes by the canteen. Then one of the elephants says: "Look yaar, 3600 - 2400 - 3600!!"
понедельник, 16 февраля 2009 г.
Monica and the Genie
Original: Monica and the Genie
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. “Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!”, she exclaimed. “No”, said the genie, “You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you [...]
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. “Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!”, she exclaimed. “No”, said the genie, “You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you [...]
воскресенье, 15 февраля 2009 г.
Funny Jokes: Lawyer jokes collection
Original: Funny Jokes: Lawyer jokes collection
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”? A: There was an empty seat. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can’t understand. Q. Why is it [...]
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”? A: There was an empty seat. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can’t understand. Q. Why is it [...]
суббота, 14 февраля 2009 г.
Jokes for the Ladies
Original: Jokes for the Ladies
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge. Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Q: Why did [...]
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge. Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Q: Why did [...]
пятница, 13 февраля 2009 г.
Indian and the Ventriloquist
Original: Indian and the Ventriloquist
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he’ll have a little fun… Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?” Indian: “Dog no talk.” Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?” Dog: “Doin’ alright.” Indian: shows extreme look of shock Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” pointing at Indian. Dog: “Yep” Cowboy: “How [...]
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he’ll have a little fun… Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?” Indian: “Dog no talk.” Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?” Dog: “Doin’ alright.” Indian: shows extreme look of shock Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” pointing at Indian. Dog: “Yep” Cowboy: “How [...]
четверг, 12 февраля 2009 г.
50 Ways to Appreciate Life
Original: 50 Ways to Appreciate Life
1. Watch the sunset– on a sled. 2. Smile more, –it might get you a free beer. 3. Complain less. –It might get you a free beer. 4. Surprise a friend with a call. — It might get you a free beer. 5. Develop your gifts. — You might need them. 6. Count your blessings. — You might need these [...]
1. Watch the sunset– on a sled. 2. Smile more, –it might get you a free beer. 3. Complain less. –It might get you a free beer. 4. Surprise a friend with a call. — It might get you a free beer. 5. Develop your gifts. — You might need them. 6. Count your blessings. — You might need these [...]
среда, 11 февраля 2009 г.
Restoring her youth
Original: Restoring her youth
After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery “down below” to restore herself to her former youthful glory. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she’d tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there. Following the operation she awoke [...]
After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery “down below” to restore herself to her former youthful glory. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she’d tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there. Following the operation she awoke [...]
вторник, 10 февраля 2009 г.
Thanks Doc
Original: Thanks Doc
A patient says to his doctor, “Hey, Doc! I’ve been getting these migraines for a long time now! I can’t think straight! I need help!”. Doctor says to patient, “You know what? I used to have the same problem, and whenever I do get migraines, I go home to my wife. She cooks me my favourite [...]
A patient says to his doctor, “Hey, Doc! I’ve been getting these migraines for a long time now! I can’t think straight! I need help!”. Doctor says to patient, “You know what? I used to have the same problem, and whenever I do get migraines, I go home to my wife. She cooks me my favourite [...]
понедельник, 9 февраля 2009 г.
Good Reasons To Be A Single Male
Original: Good Reasons To Be A Single Male
Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment. I wouldn’t have to explain why I’m wearing “that” shirt with “those” pants. I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please. I could actually tell the bartender, “If anyone calls, I’m here”. I’d be painting the town instead of the house. When I get [...]
Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment. I wouldn’t have to explain why I’m wearing “that” shirt with “those” pants. I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please. I could actually tell the bartender, “If anyone calls, I’m here”. I’d be painting the town instead of the house. When I get [...]
воскресенье, 8 февраля 2009 г.
Bull Talk
Original: Bull Talk
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I [...]
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I [...]
суббота, 7 февраля 2009 г.
The Telepathic Watch
Original: The Telepathic Watch
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just [...]
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just [...]
четверг, 5 февраля 2009 г.
Different Treatment
Original: Different Treatment
A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep up the back passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of [...]
A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep up the back passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of [...]
среда, 4 февраля 2009 г.
She Wants What He Has
Original: She Wants What He Has
Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girls house. One day he is carrying a football, and he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says “See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can’t have one!” The little girl runs [...]
Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girls house. One day he is carrying a football, and he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says “See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can’t have one!” The little girl runs [...]
вторник, 3 февраля 2009 г.
Proud father
Original: Proud father
When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10Kg healthy son. After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10Kg because he’s only 4 Kg. Next day at work, the father [...]
When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10Kg healthy son. After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10Kg because he’s only 4 Kg. Next day at work, the father [...]
понедельник, 2 февраля 2009 г.
Biblical one-liners
Original: Biblical one-liners
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to [...]
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to [...]
воскресенье, 1 февраля 2009 г.
Hypothetical Question
Original: Hypothetical Question
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: “Dad, what’s the difference between hypothetical and reality?” The father replies: “Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d have sex with the mailman for $500,000.” The [...]
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: “Dad, what’s the difference between hypothetical and reality?” The father replies: “Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d have sex with the mailman for $500,000.” The [...]
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